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a love letter to͞oˈnīt

June 10, 2018

 

To be at the brink -- between the candle flame of consciousness and the void of unconsciousness, and to have someone you love walk over the edge into nothing, can help the prayer of wholeness continue, even as it seems to be a journey through the valley of death. My mother took that step with me, and when she passed years later, I felt ready to be with that even as my world fell apart.

 

I am grateful for my initiation into darkness, the hardship of a rising shadow, the truths that have torn off my protective layers and left me bare, I am grateful for sensation as a means to be with my lonely, lost, suffering and sorrowful self and for the many invitations and reminders into " you cannot do this wrong" "there is nothing to fix" "be with what is" " be gentle and patient with yourself" and "nowhere is now here" I am grateful for death as a means to honor the power and presence of the divine; and grateful that when I was deepest in my dark night, almost 8 years ago, my mother could see me, and when I went to her in my despair lost in a prayer of insanity, she simply said, "I know, I see you, you are okay." To be seen in such darkness and loss by the person who raised me and to not be judged or diagnosed, is a great gift, even as the troubled waters persist. I am grateful for my tears this morning. Thank you for all the ways your presence helps me see the light in darkness and that alone, still mirrors all-one. Many Blessings

 

In meditation this morning I saw a being with beautiful rainbow wings it seem to be holding Circle with me and so many others in the world with its pointer finger nail it's slowly opened its chest it's just seem to be made out of the finest silk right out of worms it open so easily and out of it flowed butterflies and bugs and animals and plants and flowers and people it reached into its chest and pulled out the tiniest seed and placed it on a beautiful Velvet pillow it said this is my heart like your heart when it is nurtured loved spoken to cared for it becomes as it has been treated my seed of a heart when treated like a redwood tree becomes the Redwood when treated like a dog becomes the dog when treated like a human becomes a human when treated like an alien becomes an alien your hearts are like mine they become the way they have been treated the key to manifesting the ways that we want is to learn how to treat our own hearts as we want to become if you want to become an alien treat your heart as though it is an alien if you want to become a human treat your heart as though it is a human if you want to become a hateful depressed sad sorrowful being treat your heart with hate sadness sorrow tell it it is depressed. You are powerful beyond measure go and become go and wing it you can because you have wings. Many blessings

 

 

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